Shifting gears

Back home, back home. Am I a changed man? This is a difficult question to answer. I am sobered. Life sobers you. You have shining unrealistic shards of light mirrored back at you from the sky, but these aren't goals. They are lessons. So what have I learned? Firstly, I confuse metaphor and reality. This might relate to a growing spirituality; a deepening relationship with some sort of God figure. He talks to me through light signals and warmth. I don't know what the grand plan is, but it seems correct; just a gut reaction.
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I have also learned that no reads what I write; oh and writing is a sad, sorry fate. The best writers are death personified. Hemmingway, Kafka, Kobo. I love them, but I don't think I have the same values. They were sent on a different mission. I'm not sure if this Law School thing is going to work out; but it seems to be my mission. I know I can write the socks off anything I put my mind to.
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Oh--I learned that I'm not God's gift to the world. I often benefit from brainstorming, from other people. Objectivism, and exclusionary individualism seem now like a strange faze in my life. I could write a thesis on this point, but let it be enough that I've moved beyond Ayn Rand's philosophy.

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Family life is awesome. I love my family. I don't know what I would be if I weren't a family man, but I would not be nearly as satisfied with my life. I will leave it at that.

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I have yet to figure out my political philosophy.

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I have virtually stopped reading fiction. Every now and then I will pick up some Dostoevsky, but otherwise I'm too busy/bored with the ivory tower to dwell within it for now.

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I am really excited about law school. Maybe oregon. Adventure!

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My dreams have disappeared. I think I had a dream about King Soopers last night. Boredom. I have not been concentrating on lucid dreaming.............Where did the dreamer go?